It's that time again

As you know, I do check my stats from time to time. It's how I discovered my stalkers. Hi stalkers! *waves* Who, by the way, are still reading. And logging in from work. Tut tut. It's understandable really that they'd want to keep coming back, after all, I am just that entertaining.

Anyway, to actually get to the point, I do check my stats, and realised I haven't done a 'Googled' post in a while although I have some classic hits. So, without further ado, on with the show!

the advert were a man is on a chair and then is blown away by alot of hai - I can only assume that this sentence finished with the word hair and that the Google text box wasn't long enough to contain it all. But even then, I have no idea what this is about. Are you sure you didn't dream it?

love squishie - is this some bizarre term of endearment?

apathy, lack of emotion, poor or nonexistant social functioning - ahhh, so someone read my lonely hearts ad! Hehe.

doctor laura nude photos - well, I'm afraid I can't help you with that, and having visited Doctor Laura's website I'm not too sure why you would want nude photos. I can, however, direct you to her talking action figure, with its selection of phrases you can click to listen to. But seriously, check out the scary plastic smile! (And I'm not even talking about the action figure.)

lay back lie back gramma - what is it with people doing searches about my grandmother? Unless they actually meant grammar. In which case I will just quietly pity them. Hehe.

jiggling man boobs - none of those here. Thank the Lord!

making out with joseph gordon levitt - erm......no...?

multiple personality drama queen - hey, someone else who saw my lonely hearts ad! ;)

what's my story morning glory? write it for me - write your own flipping story, lazy arse!

can laura have some lunch please - yes, can she? Which of you miscreants is willing to feed me?

picture of a man farting out lava and near a volcano - can you fart lava? I mean, obviously not as you would die if your bowels were filled with lava. But surely 'fart' implies gas? And yet 'lava' implies liquid. I think a more appropriate word is necessary here.